My Favorite Places to Get Reverie Coffee That Aren't The Reverie

So, I like saving a buck. I also enjoy high quality coffee. Luckily, Wichita is a blue collar working class town. We’re the home of Boeing, Cessna, Spirit, Hawker Beach Craft, and probably other ones. But the days of settling for your daddy’s Folgers are down. We demand good coffee. And the Reverie’s locally roasted coffee is definitely not Folgers. It’s great coffee. But, the price of the stuff at the shop is not great. That’s why I like to get it at these other places. Here are my favorites:

#1: The Donut Whole

God I love this place. All of their donut flavors are so good. My favorite is anything with a citrus flavor. But, hey, this post is supposed to be about the coffee, so let’s get back on track. They serve Reverie coffee here, but instead of giving you the baby cups they sell at Reverie, here you get a big ass cup, and you pay the same price (about four bucks). That’s for the large. I think it’s three something for the smaller size. A much better deal. Plus the donuts are amazing. Definitely go to the Donut Whole.

#2: Jump Start

This is a gas station chain that has recently started sprouting up in the Wichita area. I’ve mostly seen it in suburbs of Wichita (Haysville and Clearwater). But here, you can get a Reverie coffee in a large cup for a $1.09 (with tax!). The Reverie has some partnership with them. Reverie has set up these coffee machines in them that they call “Rev by Reverie.” The coffee isn’t as delicious as a traditionally brewed cup from any of the other shops on this list…but it’s still pretty good…and it’s a buck!

#3: Frost

This is an ice cream/dessert shop on Douglas. It’s right next to the Andy’s Frozen Custard (bastards came to College Hill to kill Frost…but they haven’t succeeded yet!). Much like Donut Whole you can get a large coffee cup of Reverie coffee for around $4.00. That’s how much you pay for a much smaller sized cup from Reverie itself.

#4: Any of the Hipster Restaurants in Town

Home Grown, Public at the Brickyard, etc. I really hate paying $4 for a tiny cup of good coffee (it’s only Reverie that I’ve seen do this), so I prefer getting their coffee almost anywhere else, lol, including any of the local hipster joints. Home Grown will even fill you up with some Reverie coffee to go, so, again, a much better deal than Reverie proper…and you’ll also get a delicious breakfast too!

Top 4 Coffee Shops in Wichita

This has really snuck up on us, and there’s even more coffee available to Wichitans then the shops I frequent or have visited. But I’m going to speak on what I know and my list of top 4 favorites.

Number 1: The Reverie

This is probably no surprise to anyone who lives in Wichita. This place’s stuff is everywhere. If you got a local resteraunt in town that also serves coffee roasted here in Wichita, it’s going to be serving Reverie coffee. You can get their coffee at Donut Whole, Frost, Home Grown, Brickyard Brewery, Jump Start (the gas station!) and probably a bunch of other places I don’t know about. It’s good coffee.

The shop itself is that rustic hipster style. There’s an old timey bicycle with a giant front wheel hung up on the wall (that’s the logo on their Jump Start coffee too). Overall a nice clean vibe. It feels like the yuppy coffee shop and the prices reflect that. Out of all the places you can get their coffee you will pay the most for the smallest cup at the official Reverie coffee shop. That said, it is my favorite place to get work done in town. Plenty of tables, even when it’s crowded I can find a place to work. The Rye Chocolate Chip cookie is the best cookie in town. They’ve got this little oven that warms it up that looks REAL expensive. Leaves the cookie warm but still crispy. Just top notch.

Number 2: Leslie’s Coffee

This place is like the Reverie’s angry sister. She’s a little hipper, a little edgier, a little dirtier. Leslie’s has good coffee. I like the location better than the Reverie (it’s in the heart of Delano). It also has a to-die-for cookie. Leslie’s is the shortbread cookie that is always shaped in a heart with varying colored home-made frosting. Their coffee is a little cheaper than Reverie’s, but not cheap-cheap. Normal coffee shop prices instead of the inflated Reverie price. Leslie’s is big into giving back. They have a fridge for the homeless filled with food provided by community donations. The homeless also get free coffee. If you’re more into ignoring poverty and pretending the homeless don’t exist, probably not the shop for you. If you like supporting a business that makes the world a little bit better, Leslie’s is the shop for you.

Leslie’s is also into plants. There’s a lot of plants decorating the shop. It’s also got a hipster vibe (it’s a coffee-shop thing, guys), but the more dirty version. It’s got rougher edges than the Reverie, but that’s what makes it lovable. It’s the slightly poorer-man’s coffee shop, and that’s cool.

Number 3: Milkfloat

Milkfloat is firstly a dessert place, but they also do coffee. What I love about Milkfloat (other than the awesome desserts) is that it’s open late. Where I come from (I come from here…but I did live in Stillwater for a decade) coffee shops are open late. They close early around here. Reverie shuts their doors at like 4pm. Leslie’s used to stay open later, but Leslie herself needed a better work life balance, so now they close up around 5pm most days. Milkfloat is open till like 8pm, so you can grab a late night brew if you’re needing it. I am a coffee addict, and could drink it all the time, but have been choosing to cut back recently to avoid the irritability I get when I slam the stuff down my throat all day. But, occasionally when the stars align I still do have a late night coffee, and I often get it from Milkfloat.

It’s also a cool place to just hangout. It’s filled with community tables as well as some smaller individual ones you’ll see young people typing away at, or enjoying the company of a friend or date. As I said before, the dessert options are pretty good. A lot of weird things they make up. My favorite being the donut muffin. It’s a giant muffin, but with the texture and taste of a cake donut. Just top notch stuff.

Number 4: Watermark Books and Cafe

This is foremost a bookshop, but, it also has a really nice coffee shop. They have their own blend called the Watermark blend that has a cinnamon flavor to it. They get the beans from a local roaster in town, The Spice Merchant, and then add their secret spice mix that makes it the most popular brew they carry. This is my second favorite place to do work after the Reverie. They’ve got nice little tables to work at, and it’s real quiet. Mostly old people meet other old people to have lunch, discuss books, etc. And, of course, there’s a bookstore when you’re needing a break! I honestly just love looking at all the cool stuff they sell that aren’t books (as you might know, I’m a big library guy) but I do look at their displays to get ideas for things I need to read. They also have a great candle selection if you’re into that.

Honorable Mention: Donut Whole

So, obviously this is a donut shop. And, I’d argue THE donut shop of Wichita. You just can’t beat their donuts. That said, they also sell Reverie coffee in a much bigger cup at a lower price. Outstanding. I love going here to grab a donut for myself and the kids while also enjoying a delicious coffee. This place doesn’t really have the coffee shop vibe…though, it also kind of does. It’s like a weird hybrid, so I’m tacking in on here as an honorable mention. You should definitely go here though. Hard recommend.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

4/5 stars

I’ve watched Harrison Ford play the serial throwback hero Indiana Jones my entire life. My first introduction to Indy was with 1989’s The Last Crusade. This is the third film in the series, and is the one people often argue between being the best or the second best (it’s a contest between Raiders of the Lost Arc and Last Crusade). Next up was Raiders (quite some time later), and eventually Temple of Doom (my least favorite of the original trilogy). In 2008, shortly after I graduated high school, for some reason we got a fourth movie that completely ignored that Indy was 65 years old when the movie was filmed. Instead, it had him do his usual shenanigans (punching Nazis, swinging around on a whip, etc.) and threw in a bunch of CGI and a weak script. To most fans it was a massive misfire and we went along pretending it didn’t exist.

Fast forward 15 years later. Harrison ford is now 80. And, we’ve gotten a 5th Indiana Jones film. You wouldn’t be wrong if you said this sounds like a terrible idea. But, you would also be wrong, as it turns out the movie is actually the most fun anyone’s had with Indiana Jones in a theater since 1989. Yeah, the movie blows Krystal Skull out of the water, and gives Temple of Doom a run for its money on third best Indy Film. It sounds crazy, but, somehow it happened. Here’s what makes the movie work:

1. It doesn’t pretend Indy’s still in his 30s. The fact that Dr. Jones is now as old as dirt plays into everything the character does. He’s a cranky old man. This is what any hero who’s made it to his 80s ought to be.

2. James Mangold directs. This is the guy who directed Logan, Copland, and Identity. The dude knows how to make a good movie. And he doesn’t bring the weird baggage with him that Spielberg would have since he’d feel obligated to involve George Lucas, who just doesn’t have the stuff anymore (Nothing wrong with that. You had a great run, Lucas. No one could say different).

3. Harrison Ford is giving it his all. This may be the most important factor. Or, at least up there close to the top. Ford is fully awake in this movie, and he’s giving it his all. I remember watching Kingdom of the Crystal Skull in the theater and thinking, “Man, Harrison Ford sure seems like he forgot how to act” while I watched Area 51 employees scrub radioactivity off his body with a push broom and a water hose. That never happens here. I fully buy that he’s an old grumpy man that used to do cool shit when he was younger, but now shuffles between his office, his classroom, and his apartment, and not much else.

4. Indy goes on the adventure out of necessity, not out of desire. Indy’s pulled into the adventure, and the way it’s done makes it believable. Ford’s character never does anything we can’t believe an 80 year old Indiana Jones couldn’t do under the circumstances. They do a great job with this, and it’s exactly what Crystal Skull was missing.

5. Plenty of Practical effects and practical set pieces. Yeah, there’s more CGI here than in all three original Indy movies combined (did CGI even exist back then? Do matte paintings count as CGI, lol?), but there’s less than Crystal Skull, and the CGI is used better here too.

6. The script is solid. No aliens this time, guys. Just the Nazis trying get a relic with magical powers so they can rule the world. You know, classic Indiana Jones stuff.

Overall, if you’re a fan of the series, this is a worthy entry. If you’re a newcomer to the Jones Saga, this is probably not for you. Go home and fire up Disney+ and check out Last Crusade and Raiders of the Lost Arc, if you fall in love with ‘em, grab the kids and head to the theater. If not, maybe wait for TMNT to come out next month.

The Hipsters Are Right

I love to “pick on” the hipsters. You know, the guys who love tight shorts, form fitting shirts, cool facial hair, man buns, bad beer and coffee.

I love to to “pick on” them, because I check most of those boxes (minus the tight shorts, man buns and beer. I also don’t have a mustache). I really like the sentiment this faux hippie seems to expel. Which is, we’re alive now. You might as well have the good stuff.

Now, my mother-in-law, Nancy Jane Cain (who DOES NOT buy the good stuff) would say I spend too much money. And, she would have been right a few months ago. (I’ve since read MR. MONEY MUSTACHE and have become a convert to the FIRE movement…but that’s another post). I now look at my money as my Life Energy (Thanks YOUR MONEY OR YOUR LIFE), so I don’t want to get rid of it for just anything. It has to be something I really want or something I need.

I now go cheap on what I can, so I can get the good stuff on the things I want. For instance, you can get a pocket notebook for free if you really tried. They give ‘em away at tables at events when you wander around town, or you could grab one for a buck from Walmart. But those notebooks suck. I use mine every day, and I write cool ass shit that will later be sold on Amazon inside my little notebook. So, I bought (or, rather my wife bought it because she’s so sweet) The Leuchtturm 1917 pocket size notebook. Man, this thing is so cool. Yeah, I know, it’s just a notebook. But it’s a cool notebook, guys!. It cost way more than $1, but I get a lot for those dollars. I use it daily. Take it with me everywhere. I found out it has a slot in the back the other day, and now I carry my business cards in there and I don’t need a business cardholder!

That’s really one of the few expensive things I’ve bought that could be argued doesn’t come with better utility then the cheap version (though, it definitely does come with more utility too. The thing is built like a bible. Takes a beating in my pocket and it keeps on going…me and the kids actually call it my “GRAIL DIARY” after Sean Connery’s Grail Diary in INDIANA JONES: AND THE LAST CRUSADE). The rest of the items on my the HIPSTERS ARE RIGHT list have better utility than the cheap versions, and SAVE YOU MONEY in the long run. One of my favorite things. Saving money. It’s so awesome.

I make my own coffee in a bad ass French Press. Yeah, seems like a lot. But it’s so much smoother than the cheap one I got from TJ Maxx I’ve been using the last year and a half. This thing taste so good I don’t even buy coffee outside my house MOST of the time anymore. For the first several months of owning it I didn’t buy anyone else’s coffee at all. For those of you who aren’t coffee drinkers, a coffee out and about is usually a minimum of $3. More if you up the size from small to anything else. It’s around a buck at most gas stations, but gas station coffee isn’t great, even if it’s Quick Trip. The best gas station coffee in my metro is actually in Haysville. You can get Reverie Coffee (this gourmet roaster in town) for a buck there. It’s a crazy cheat to get great coffee at a low price while away from your French Press. But, overall, this bad boy has cut down on me buying coffee out, as I’ll just make a cup before I go and take it with me in one of those reusable plastic travel coffee mugs.

I use safety razors. I recommend these things to everyone. Men. Women. Anyone who shaves. You should use a safety razor. The blades are sharper (they get a closer shave and last longer), and insanely cheaper. I get the most expensive blades (because I like to live, people!) and it costs me 30 bucks for 50 blades. I buy blades twice a year. So, 60 bucks for a year of shaving. But, I shave my head every two days, so that dulls them a lot quicker than if you were just doing your face. I have a buddy who buys a different brand and he gets 100 blades at once, and I think he pays like $20. Just insane, people. Stop giving Gellette you’re money. They make an inferior product and they charge out the ass for it.

I wear Chaco sandals. These things have been my summer time shoes for years now. They hold up like a monster truck on your foot. The sole is literally about an inch of rubber. They let your foot breath (thank god! My feet love to sweat!), and they last forever. They come in all kinds of colors so you can express your inner you on your outer you, and there’s different styles for the straps to fit what feels good to you (I don’t go with the toe strap, bugs me too much). They’re cleanable (just Google how and you’ll find plenty of easy and effective methods) and repairable. Chaco has a repair section on their site, and they’ve actually given me a free pair before because mine weren’t repairable once.

I buy the cheaper airpods. I still go with Apple Airpods, but I didn’t actually know I was buying the cheap ones until some kid pointed out I had “the old model.” Doesn’t bother me. I already thought I was paying too much, but again, I use these things every day for everything. I use them in the gym. I use them to make phone calls and receive calls (I refuse to hold the phone to my ear), I listen to podcasts on them while doing the dishes sometimes, I use them when I play chess and I don’t want to bother anyone with the sound of the digital pieces clicking on the fake wooden board (such a satisfying sound!). They’re pretty awesome guys. Not sure why you’d need an “updated” version, other than I’d like to be able to replace the battery at some point, which is why I’ll probably start using this site: https://www.theswapclub.com/collections/airpod-swaps. They figured out how to get the batteries out of AirPods, and will send you a new set when you send them your old ones (and, by “new set,” I mean a different used set that they’ve replaced the batteries in). Pretty sweet deal. It’s like getting a new one, only $40 cheaper.

It’s quick, impossible to screw up, and delicious.

Come on, guys. You know you want to stick it to Gillette.

I’m thinking of getting another pair with brighter straps. I’m thinking about it, guys. This pair has still got another good 5 years left in them before they become my mowing sandals. And, I could just get the soles replaced and not even do that…tough choices, guys.

Oh the Grail Diary.

If I drop it somewhere, please return it. It’s got some banger ideas in it.

The Flash

2/5 stars

“Probably one of the greatest superhero movies ever made,” James Gunn, when asked about The Flash. James Gunn…the dude lied. Let’s go through the whys on why The Flash is in fact not “one of the greatest superhero movies ever made” and is somewhere in the middle. Above DC and Marvel’s worst movies, but way below their best, and even below most of Marvels mediocre movies.

The Flash opens with CGI babies falling out of a building and the Flash saving them in a weird comedy bit. He throws one in a microwave. The audience gets that this is supposed to be funny because, “Hey, microwaves are for cooking things! He’s not going to cook that baby though, he’s saving it! Isn’t this so funny! Hahahaha! A baby in a Microwave!”

There’s a lot of dumb humor like that throughout the movie that just doesn’t land. A lot of pausing the forward momentum of the story, and action scenes to discuss “the science” of being the Flash to his younger self. They’re in the middle of a big battle trying to save their friends, Batman and Super-Woman, and they stop fighting so Older Flash can tell Younger Flash to “complete the circuit” so he can shoot lightning from his fingers. This takes a good 15 seconds to explain, killing the kinetic energy that was supposed to be happening in a movie about a guy who runs faster than the speed of light.

Putting aside Ezra Miller’s toxicity in the real world, in the movie, he doesn’t fit the part. He’s not charismatic, he’s not funny, and just comes off grating the whole time. It gets even worse when a second version of himself shows up and then never leaves.

Luckily Michael Keaton is back as Batman. Most of this is great. The only bit that wasn’t great was his introduction (there’s more of that weird middle school humor here on display). Keaton shows up in one flip flop, and he ends on top of Miller with his crotch over Miller’s face. Miller makes some middle school level joke about it. Haha, Batman-penis-in-face-funny hahaha!

All the Batman iconography is great. We get a couple scenes of Tim Burton’s Batmobile sitting in the cave, collecting dust (it never gets fired up…but we get to look at Younger Flash sleep in it, hahaha!), we get lots of Batman symbol shaped things doing cool things (lots of Bat-kites floating in storms, Batplanes sitting over the moon, Batarangs knocking people out…you know, important cool Batman shit). We get Keaton repeating three of his iconic one-liners from 1989’s Batman, which was oddly satisfying, because I too am still a small child trapped inside this man body. Damn you corporate America for understanding this!

Keaton does a good job with the character. He’s not phoning it in. He seems to get the character, and brings a gravitas to the movie that it other wise doesn’t have and probably doesn’t deserve. His lines and character seem better written than the Flash’s. I wonder if that’s because Keaton is just that much of a better actor, or if he helped workshop his lines and character (I would believe either one, or both).

Super-Woman is also awesome. Her character is interesting, and her performance is good. You believe that this woman really was being held in a secret government cell underground, and she’s now freed and ready to murder some people.

But, sadly, those two characters are not the main character. The Flash is, and he’s miscast, so he’s either annoying, or just “off.” He’s not funny. And the characters who interact with him also come of weird too. His roommates, the guy who makes his sandwich. All these characters seem to borrow the weird humor and misfiring that happened in that opening baby scene, and all the scenes Miller’s in where he isn’t talking to Batman, Super-Woman, or his mom (the mom scenes also work).

It’s just a weird hot mess. And I haven’t even complained about the CGI (it’s not great. The stuff in “the speed force” where he sees rubbery-looking versions of Christopher Reeve, Nic Cage Superman, etc. It all looks bad). To me, the CGI was the least of this movies problems. The script doesn’t even work. The lead duel performances don’t work. Without that you don’t have a movie that works.

2/5 stars.

Spider-Punk: The Best Spider-Man

So, it goes without saying that ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE was great, go see it. 4/5 stars. Maybe 4.5/5. I will say that I enjoyed it even more on the rewatch than I did on my initial watch. I caught more of the foreshadowing in acts 1 and 2 that I missed the first time (you really can’t catch some of the stuff if you don’t know the ending…which you wouldn’t know on your first watch, lol).

But, what I really want to talk about here is not the movie as a whole, but one specific character, and that character is Spider-Punk, better known as Hobie Brown, well, actually he’s better known as Spider-Punk. He first came to existence in the Spider-Verse comic (the comic book the first movie sort-of based the movie off of…but not really, it’s way different). The movie version of Spider-Punk is way cooler than the comic version, at least the version we meet in the first Spider-Verse comic. In the comic Hobie’s a comedic buddy of Miles Morales (Miles is not the lead of the comic, Peter Parker is) and they go off and do cute buddy-movie stuff together, cracking jokes and beating up bad guys. In Across the Spider-Verse, Hobie is a smart-mature-dude. He’s a real rebel, who understands powerful systems are not to be trusted, and immediately tells Miles this, and in fact tells him this subtely over and over again. In essence, he’s not just a punk in name and costume, but in spirit. This guy is fucking cool. Anti-establishment to the bone. And lo and behold, he turns out to be right about everything.

And, on top of warning Miles about the evils of the Spider Society, he also teaches Miles how to properly use his electric powers. And, since this is Hobie’s style, he does it simply and subtly. I didn’t even catch that he did it the first watch. Spider-Punk is the opposite of Peter B. Parker, which makes him even more damn cool. The writing, god, it’s so good. In this movie, Hobie Brown is secretly Miles Moraleses new mentor. But since Hobie doesn’t believe in labels, he would say he’s not (but he totally is).

So, how does he teach Miles to use his powers? So, when Hobie first meets Miles, Miles is trying to blow up a forcefield by abosorbing it’s power and shooting it back at it. Hobie shows up and destroys the forcefield with the power of punk rock (also a cool power, right?). Afterwards, he tells Miles, “You gotta use your whole palm, not just your fingertipes.” And then, later in the movie when Miles is trapped by Miguel O’Hara’s forcefield, Hobie spreads his palm out to remind the kid what he needs to do to free himself. Just king shit right there. It’s so subtle I missed it the first time.

He also has one of the best lines in the movie. Miles is getting all worked up as Miguel tells him his dad is going to have to die so the timeline gods don’t get angry. Miles is getting rightfully pissed off. Hobie cheers him on with something like, “That’s it.” Jessica Drew, the new Spider-Woman who’s a loyal follower of Miguel O’Hara says, “Hobie, you’re not helping.”

Hobie responds, “Good.”

God he’s so cool.

Rainbow Capitalism

So, today we went to a pride parade. I believe we’ve gone to them before. We’ve definitely done gay events before (we went to a Rainbow Reading at the library a couple weeks ago. It was fun). But, if we had gone to a pride parade before, I somehow didn’t notice, or had since forgotten, the absolute absurdity of the industries and institutions who involve themselves in the parade. These institutions are not part of the community, and have historically been opposed to the LGBTQ community.

These groups are:

1. The police.

2. Corporations

3. Churches.

None of these groups have historically been on the side of gay and trans people. They’ve been opposed to them. And here they are now, conveniently present when the majority of Americans now accept LGBTQ people as actual humans. It feels very cheap, and a result of capitalism doing what capitalism does. Which is searching out every last dollar to insure quarterly growth. To me, that is clearly the “why” for the bottom two groups on the list. Corporations are looking for more dollars via sold products or services, and churches are looking for more dollars via new members. It’s really as simple as that.

Walmart had a van in the parade with the word “PRIDE” taped to the side of it. T-Mobile was also “there” as well as Cox Communications and Hawker Beachcraft. At one point there was a banner carried out in the middle of the parade that said “PRIDE IS SPONSORED BY” and then listed their corporate sponsors.

It’s just so…bizarre.

I get it. If I were a member of the LGTBQ community who was organizing the parade, I’d take that corporate money too. I’m sure it makes it all easier, and you can basically mock them while you put on your parade. One guy with a punk rock spike haircut held a sign with cool punk-rock-like text that read: “THEY WON’T BE HAPPY UNTIL WE’RE ALL FUCKING DEAD.” Hell yeah, brother.

The “they” who won’t be happy “until we’re all fucking dead” are the groups and institutions who are there looking for new rubes or dollars. The groups of power. Churches are on a down swing (which is why they’re seeking membership from groups they used to condemn), but they’re still more powerful than a lone individual. Corporations rule the world. And police enforce their will. Surprise, surprise, when you treat people like shit for generations, they’re conclusion is you hate them and want them dead.

And, with that thought, I leave you with the King of England reminding America he’ll kill our friends and family to remind us of his love:

Derby Public Library: Why You Should Use it

Welcome to my latest post in my “WICHITA IS COOL” series. I’m including cool things in the Wichita Metro as part of Wichita, because, hey, these places wouldn’t be so cool if Wichita wasn’t right there providing people with work, roads, etc., etc. So, IMO, all the little towns around Wichita are really just little neighborhoods of Wichita (I hear some people call these things “the suburbs”).

Today, I wanted to highlight Derby Public Library. This place is great. My family visits this place at least once a week, or any time we’re in Derby and looking to kill time with the kids. For us, it’s conveniently across the street from where Kinder Music is in Derby, so that’s how we discovered it and why we use it so frequently.

1. Free Coffee. If you love coffee (and why wouldn’t you?) you can get it here, at Derby Public Library, absolutely free. And we’re not talking Folgers (though, I’d drink that too…despite being a lover of high-quality coffee, I’ll drink the cheap stuff too) this is some high-quality stuff. And despite being spat out of a machine, it doesn’t taste watered down like Keurig coffee. I don’t know what’s going on with these machines. Is it drip? Is it grinding it and then doing the k-cup thing and just shooting water over it for a couple seconds? I’m really not sure. I just know it tastes great. And it’s free.

This bad boy will spit out as much free coffee as you can handle.

2. It’s a great place for kids. My kids can spend hours here without getting bored, and I mean hours. They’ve got a ton of dramatic play (a kid-kitchen, puppets with a theater area, wooden cars they can pretend to drive, etc.) as well as dozens of buckets with manipulative, toys (dinosaurs! cars! etc.!) They’ve got several other areas outside of the kid play zone for kids as well. There’s a lego zone (big lego table with buckets of legos), a couple of those light up tables to build blocks on top of, a reading nook that looks like a little house, a wall of board games to play with their parents with, and a kid computer section (this is of course popular with the teenagers…lot of MInecraft and random flash games happening here). They also have TEEN TUESDAYS, where they do some teen only activities in the community room. My daughter is 5, so we don’t ever get to do this, but it looks cool and she always wants to go. They have snacks, and apparently do cool things with other teenagers.

One thing I love, is that there’s only one way in and one way out. Unlike some other libraries we hang out at (not mentioning any names here!) I don’t feel like i have to be as vigilante with my young kids if I don’t want to be. My kids know how to play well without me being present (they don’t destroy things, make messes, or talk rude to other children), so I can take a comfy seat by the single exit (which is right by the coffee machine, conveniently!) and get some work done if I want (like, say, writing this blog post for instance!)

This is only one half of the play area at the back of the library. I didn’t want to get pictures of other people’s kids, so I didn’t get the other half that has even more stuff. That’s my daughter in the background playing restaurant with all the cool dramatic play toys she grabbed from the kitchen area.

A wall of boardgames you can use in the library with your kids. Leo loves the Spaghetti Game. Miranda and I find it to be “okay.”

Me, living the good life. Sitting by the exit where I can see if my child needs me, drinking my free coffee, and writing up this blog post.

3. They check out video games. And, we’re not talking junk you’d never want to play. We’re talking the latest games for Xbox, Playstation, and Switch. I first played ELDER SCROLLS when it was brand new off a disc I got from the Derby Public Library. If I was a patient man I would have waited and played KIRBY: FORGOTTEN KINGDOM this way too (I was on the wait list, but I got tired of waiting and just bought it). But this is a great way to try games you may not want to buy. You could pick up an older title (this is how I played LIFE IS STRANGE: TRUE COLORS) and see if you like it…FOR FREE! Have I mentioned that using the library is free?

In case you’re wondering, Wichita Public Library does not do video games at any of their locations. This is a uniquely Derby thing, which makes it pretty awesome. That said, WPL does do things that Derby doesn’t do. Ying and Yang, people. Both are good. But, let’s get back to talking about what makes DPL so great to visit.

Tears of the Kingdom is currently checked out, but you can hit that PLACE A HOLD BUTTON and have it held for you as soon as it’s in. They’ll give you a friendly call and give you 5 days to come grab it before they call the next person on the list. Don’t be late!

4. You get access to more media than just Derby. They are part of this “KANSHARE” thing. I’ll post an image below of what it is. But, basically you get like 8 other libraries that pop up when use their search bar and search for media. So, if Derby doesn’t have the book, maybe Andover does, Eldorado, etc. They’ll deliver it to DPL for you if you hit the REQUEST HOLD button. It’s pretty awesome. I’ve read a lot of obscure comic books this way.

Top 4 Free Places To Go In Wichita With Your Kids

My kids and I live in Wichita. We love doing stuff. Especially free stuff. Here’s my list of our favorite free places to go and do cool stuff.

1. PBS Childrens Education & Discovery Center. This is a thing we just discovered existed not too long ago, and we already love it. It’s a free indoor playground in town. It’s out east, right next to the AMC movie theater on Rock. The playground has sensory tubs, dramatic play, crafting, a 3D printer, free books (everyone leaves with 1 free book), and a director of education who floats around helping children and parents utilize all the cool things in the center. It’s a very cool place and one of our new favorite places to go.

2. The Wichita Art Museum. This bad boy used to cost to get in. Not anymore! It has an awesome kids play area called “The Living Room.” It also has a glass bridge with that weird blown glass that looks like coral inside of it (the kids love walking over it). There’s an outdoor art path too, but you’ll probably want to eat through all the stuff inside first. They also teach classes to kids as well. This is called Art Start. Art Start goes to Camp is the summer program, it used to be $5 but has gone up to $15 and the Buff Family is not super happy about this!

3. The Wichita Public Library. Specifically The Advanced Learning Library downtown (we call it “the big library”). It has a great outdoor playground, an indoor play area, a cheap book store (you can grab media for you and the kids for literal pennies on the dollar), a bunch of computers, building blocks, story times, cool activities (grab one of those paper fliers from the library that lists all the activities for the summer. It’ll give you everything the library does AND the city does. Lots of cool stuff. Mostly free). Plus books. Lots and lots of books too. Also movies.

4. Derby Public Library. This is a hidden gem, and technically “not in Wichita,” but we count the metro, as it’s basically just a cute little neighborhood of Wichita. You’re just a feeder town for our factories, Derby! But look at you getting a Target! You’re so cute! All right, back to why the library is cool. So, it has a GREAT indoor play area. Lots of dramatic play. Board games you can use at the library. Lego stations. Block stations. Dinosaurs. Dolls. A little play kitchen. Farm animals. It’s a legit indoor playground (like a DIFFERENT version of the PBS Kids playground in town). It also has FREE coffee for you coffee loving parents. It’s a nice machine that they pay someone to come out and fill whole coffee beans into it every so often (I forget the name of it “Jo” something, but it’s the same company Derby Public Schools use, and it’s high quality stuff…and it’s free!). It also has cool activities they do all the time for teenagers. The teenagers get a whole big room that you have to pass every time you come in, so my 5 year old is always a bit jealous that they get snacks and activities she can’t do yet, but she quickly gets over it as the indoor playground is so cool.

You also got the Sunflower App (definitely download that) that gets you into a bunch of museums, zoos, and centers that would normally cost money. I went with our top four always free places we love. Check ‘em out! You could easily burn 2 hours at any of the places on this list without the kids getting bored.

Wichita Is Cool

This is letter to anyone who’s wondering, “That place I’ve never heard of, Wichita, Kansas…I wonder if it’s cool?” As a long time resident of Wichita, and frequent visitor and liver of other places, I’m here to tell you the answer is a big “yes.”

So, let’s get started. I like lists. So, here’s my list of reasons why Wichita is actually “That Cool Place You’ve Never Heard Of.”

1. It’s a place for poor people. I mean this in a very positive way. If you’re bothering to read this, that means you aren’t rich. If you’re not rich, then you’re poor. That’s how it works. I didn’t make the rules. If you don’t own a baseball stadium, entire companies on the NASDAQ, or write the checks for millions of other people, then you are not rich. Congratulations! Wichita is perfect for you!

   1. It’s affordable. You get a lot of house for your buck here. Houses just come with basements here. That doubles your floor plan. Food is also cheap.

   2. Great highway system. You save on gas as you’re not stuck in traffic everywhere (less people live here than OKC, so you just get to where you’re going without the constant waiting or dodging cars).

   3. Plenty of blue collar work. Lot of factories, many of them make airplanes. We got other factories too. People love to make stuff here. Also a lot of people who fix stuff. Lots of stuff getting made and fixed in Wichita.

      4. There’s a lot of free things to do with children in town (Wichita Art Museum, PBS Kids, the Library, Cool Parks, the Sunflower App).

2. There’s a great library system. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I am a total psycho for the library. We always have at least 30 things checked out at once. Often much more than that.

   1. Do you like movies? The library has that. And a lot of them. Blu Ray and DVD. Do you like new movies? They have all those. TV shows too. Oh, and it’s free.

   2. Do you like books? They’ve got all those. All the new ones, and all the old ones.

   3. Do you like audiobooks? They’ve got those too.

   4. You like community? They’ve got tons of events always going on where you can meet other humans who like the cool things you like.

   5. Do you love Amazon? Do you love how you can get on their website, add a bunch of crap to your cart and have it delivered to your house? Well, the library does that too. You can add a bunch of crap (binoculars, telescopes, tablets, Blu Rays, etc.) to your WPL cart and then click to have it delivered to the library closest to your house (there’s 7 in town, so most neighborhoods are a short driving distance from one). This is also free.

   6. There’s a ton more reasons to love the Wichita Public Library system. You can read about it here: https://wichitalibrary.org

3. Pretty good food scene. Despite what some Wichitans will say, I don’t think we have the best food scene. It’s definitely gotten better, but we don’t have a great Indiana place, Sushi place, or hibachi place. We have places that are good enough in those categories, but I’ve lived in cities that had much better restaurants in those categories. We also don’t have great barbecue, which is a huge downer as I love barbecue. Wichita does have a pretty good pizza scene though. We’ve got Pizza Johns in Derby (the ‘burbs count as part of the metro, guys), Picasso’s in Delano, Piatto downtown, and a few other places that are just okay. George’s is also a hidden gem if you’re looking to celebrate something and want to spend a bunch of money on really good food.

4. Pretty good coffee scene. We’ve got quite a few roasters, and a couple of pretty hip coffee shops to just hangout in and write or read. My two favorites are LESLIE’S and THE REVERIE. Both on Douglas. They’re basically the opposite side of the same coin. The Reverie is boogie and more pricey. Leslie’s is dirtier and more homely feeling. It also has better prices and the people who work there look like regular people instead of models.

5. There’s a lot of activities to do. Like most places, you have to pay attention or you’ll miss out. But there are a lot of activities through the City of Wichita itself, through the library, through WAM (Wichita Art Museum) and probably a whole bunch of other stuff I don’t even know about. There’s enough in town to keep you busy if you branch out, talk to people, and then go do the things.

6. Two major movie theater companies. We used to have this local chain called THE WARREN. It was solid. Expensive (which I don’t like), but pretty good service and quality. It got bought out by Regal, and now kind of sucks, but we do have the AMC out east, and it's a much better corporate movie experience. We also have the Derby Plaza in Derby and the Starlite Drive Inn in town as well. There used to be others but the Warren killed them all before it sold to Regal.

7. A nice zoo. If you like zoos (and why wouldn’t you?!) we have a pretty solid one. Lot of exhibits to make your way around. They own a lot of undeveloped land, so plenty of space to grow as they acquire more injured and discarded animals from across the globe. It’s also not a private zoo, so there’s no Tiger King stuff going on here (not at Sedgwick County anyways…that other zoo though, this blog can’t vouch for).

8. A neat down town. It’s broken up into a couple of spots. My favorite is Delano. Like most downtowns with a spot called “Delano” it is the arty district. It’s full of cool shops. It’s home to a cool pizza place, a candy shop, a dessert place, one of the two coffee shops I like, a hat store, a place I like to go to buy shaving soap, and a crappy BBQ place I don’t eat at. There’s other stuff too.

9. A cool flag. Our town has a flag. It’s pretty cool looking.

Well, that’s it for now. I plan on expanding on the idea of this blogpost in the future. Creating lists that target specific cool things about Wichita, but I thought I’d get the ball rolling with a brief post that just hits the broad strokes of some of what Wichita has to offer, and dispels the myths that those two guys I know in OKC have made up about it.

Wichita! It’s a place you could live in!

Stay tuned for my as yet unwritten post on FREE PLACES TO TAKE YOUR KID IN WICHITA!

Gyms Should Be Like Libraries

You heard me. Gyms should be like libraries. They should be free to access and they should be more plentiful than they already are.

Wichita has 7 libraries. Every little town around it has at least 1. There should be at least 7 publicly funded gyms in the city as well (and in every other city and town in America).

Now, this is probably where you’re thinking, “What’s wrong with this guy? Why would we waste public money on this? Doesn’t he know not everybody likes working out?” Let me start out by first saying that it’s not a waste of money. We complain about the health of our citizens, yet provide nothing to help people become healthier. No healthcare. No gyms. Not even realistic encouragement. All Americans get is an occasional lecture. My arguments for gyms is that the science is overwhelming clear at this point that every human should be doing some form of strength training. That means weightlifting. It lowers your risk of all the major diseases. Stops you from falling when you’re older, and does all the things healthcare professionals say they want for their patients. So, it doesn’t make sense that

1. Weightlifting isn’t publicly encouraged for everyone.

2. It isn’t free and easily available.

We want people to be sick less often and healthier overall. Public gyms should already be a thing, and it shouldn’t be controversial.

This doesn’t mean we couldn’t have private gyms. USPS, UPS and FED EX all exist. If people want to pay for a fancier gym, they can. But, if you live in a big city you’re probably going to have access to a pretty awesome gym for free. That said, a small gym will be enough for most people. All you need are dumbbells, a squat rack, deadlift area, and a bench press and you’re set. A small public gym would have more than that, but they would at least have those.

My current gym is only $45 for me a year. Might as well be free. It’s small, nice (it’s new), and has everything I need and more. So few people use it it reminds me of a hidden neighborhood library. It’s filled with awesome stuff that makes my life better, and it’s underused. To me, it’s just madness that nobody anywhere is pushing for this. We should want everyone to be healthier and happier, and we should be putting our money where our mouth is as we do with many, many important things.

These public gyms would also have the gym equivalent of librarians. People with fitness degrees who can help you train and build a plan for you would be present if you desired their help. They’d do so for free for patrons, and they would be paid with public funds as all public servants are.

So, do us all a favor. Go tell a friend you want a public gym in your neighborhood, and then bug your state reps and federal reps with emails and calls about how you want a damn public gym to be a thing. Let them know your tired of being healthy only being available to those who can afford it (or are lucky like me and have access to a dirt cheap gym).

Health should be for everyone. And we should fight to make it a reality.

Give Up Social Media. Read Instead.

I get the irony here. If you’ve stumbled upon this post, you likely found it because you follow me on social media. I can’t stand that stuff. It’s a good idea in theory (I suppose). An internet telephone. But it’s too easily manipulated. I love communicating too much, so I get roped into arguments I don’t want to have. I obsess over things that have a lot less meaning than my mind ends up thinking they should (when I use social media). It’s just all around bad, at least for me. Maybe your experience is different. But, I bet it’s similar for most people. And, even if it’s not, your time could be better spent. Here’s my argument for why:

You’ve got the world at your fingertips. Literally anything you’d like to learn about, you could learn about. Think of a thing you’d like to be better at, or know more about, and then Google it. Find out the best way to learn about it (videos, books, podcasts) and then go do that instead of social media.

If you’re doing a form of social media that isn’t TikTok, then you’re already reading anyways. You might as well read something that benefits you.

For instance. I’m a teacher (by day) and my class is currently getting into chess. I want to learn more about it because I want to be able to easily beat anyone of them, and, I also want to pass the skills I learn on to them. It just makes everyone more into it, and helps create a fun culture in my classroom. To do this I did some Googling, found some books, couldn’t get them at my library so I did Abe Books to get them cheap, and then I searched the library’s website and got a different big fat book that wasn’t on the list from them while I wait for the Abe Books to get here. Now, I don’t have to read the whole book if I don’t want. It was free. I’m just learning about chess for fun because I like it, and I now play it all the time. I can easily put the book down and never touch it again if I don’t want to (could you do that so easily with your social media…could you?) but I enjoy the book (do you enjoy your social media? Do you really?) so I’m not putting it down. I can read it whenever. On the couch randomly for a few minutes. On the toilet. In a waiting room. Wherever. And, the best part is, I can read more than one book at a time.

Check this out:

Ignore the fact that this screenshot says Miranda (that’s my wife, and this is her account. But I AM on the account, so it’s perfectly legal that I use it. We’ve just always used hers, and I like to keep the running record of the HOW MUCH YOU SAVED BY USING YOUR LIBRARY number that spits out at the bottom of the receipt ridiculously high), and look at the diversity in these books. So, first off, we always have a ton of picture books because I read 4-5 a night with the kids (used to be 10, but Willow is getting more interested in all her other activities now and wants to trim book time some). Next up we have a couple fitness books. Yes, both are for me. If the Naked Fitness one is lame (or if the other one is), I’ll simply not read it. Easy. But, I’m hoping they both have interesting ideas. Fitness is a current interest of mine. I’ve been going to the gym for a few months, I’m using this app called FitBod that does all the work for me. Builds the workout, keeps track of my sore muscle groups, spits out tons of data. It’s awesome. So, anyways, I’m interested in reading about fitness. I have a union book in there because my school district is fighting with my union over benefits right now. They’re being ridiculous, and I’m trying to get my fellow teachers to go to the meetings so they can see first hand just how ridiculous the situation is. So, unions are a current interest of mine and I want to read more about them and, in the process, maybe be better able to describe their importance to people and dispel any misconceptions they’ve been propagized to believe. There’s also a book in there you didn’t see in the screenshot about outside activities for dad’s to do with their kids. Who doesn’t want to be an awesome dad that does outside things with their kids? Sign me up!

I also have a writing book that’s already checked out to me by this guy who’s a comic book artist. It’s all about how to keep yourself writing, even when it feels like a slog and you just want to abandon the craft forever. It’s a super fun book. He’s got a whole series of them.

The greatest thing about having all these different books at the ready that are about my interests, is that if I start to feel bored reading about chess all the time (or if it’s kind of late and I can’t concentrate on the nitty gritty of chess moves anymore) I can start reading about how I need to go for walks when I’m stumped in my writing, or I can get some history on unions or fitness (or learn some cool things to do with my kids outside!). I have a book for every mood, and every situation. And, I’m in control of the content. If I don’t like it, I stop reading it, grab a different book. Easy. I decide my fate. My mood. And therefor, my life.

Take that Twitter.

Use Your Library

It’s crazy how no one knows how good their library is. I guarantee you anyone can find something at that their library that would benefit them. My family are huge connoisseurs of libraries. Yes, we’re readers, but we don’t just get books (though, we do get a lot of books). We also get children tablets—these things are made by Playaway specifically for libraries. They’re leveled, they only have learning games on them. There are reading ones, math ones, interest ones (there’s a dinosaur one my library has that’s just all about dinosaurs). We use them for movies (yeah, you might just stream everything. But what if you want to watch something specific and you’re services don’t have it? You really going to pay Amazon $3.99 to watch it when you could get it for free from the library?). We use them for graphic novels. We use them for Nintendo Switch Games . Yeah, you heard me right. One of the libraries in the Wichita Metro has video games (they have Xbox, and Playstation as well). And we’re not talking old games. They get the new stuff too. We’re talking Kirby and the Forgotten Land. Elder’s Scrolls. And again, this is a library. So it’s free.

Free.

If you like movies your library likely has an awesome collection. Every location I go to has a new release section, that has the new stuff that just came to streaming (maybe you have the service it’s on, maybe you don’t...but the library has it…for FREE!).

They also have events all the time. I did a local author event at the big one in Wichita over the summer. Sold some books. Met some other authors. I had a ball of a time. The one in Derby has stuff for grownups constantly. They do BYOW events all the time (bring your own wine). They do yoga stuff. Book clubs. Movie screenings (watch scary movies for free with other horror fanatics on a big screen). The Wichita one has weirder (but useful) stuff a lot of times. They had a carpet install class that I saw advertised on their giant screen that advertises events (this is also how I found out about local author day).

So, maybe you’re thinking, “Gosh, Kenneth. That’s cool and all, but it’s really not practical. I need stuff delivered to me. I can’t run around to all these different buildings to get stuff for free. Amazon has trained me to need it delivered to me.”

Have I got news for you.

If you’re library is as awesome as mine is (and it may be) they will deliver your holds to the library closest to where you live. There’s one three and a half miles from my house (8 minutes with two stop lights). I drive through the drive-through window, they scan me my card, they give me a bunch of free stuff I ordered on their site.

“But, Kenneth. You only get it for like two weeks, right?”

Wrong. Most media from libraries you get for 4 weeks. And you can renew most media for an additional 8 weeks. Yeah, I know it’s crazy. It’s crazy that you’re not taking advantage of this amazing service your community provides for you that you help fund through your tax payments.

Start taking advantage. Go do it right now.

Quarantine Day 3

So, I’m still here. Still alive, that’s pretty good. My son is too. I’m starting to feel better. I never felt that bad (as I said before, it felt like stopped up sinuses, and a cough), but, assuming I wouldn’t kill people if I were around them, work would have been rough to try to get through the way I had felt.

My smell is coming back! Let me tell you, life is a lot more enjoyable when you can smell and taste things. I noticed this morning when I took my chewable elderberry vitamins (Thanks, Miranda!) that, surprise surprise, I could actually taste it. This was weird, because I haven’t been able to taste anything since Wednesday. I then explored. I tried my breakfast (oatmeal with syrup), and I couldn’t really taste anything, but I told myself, Your oatmeal really doesn’t have a flavor—I then reminded myself, Yeah, but it should taste like something. So, I then tried some Sprite I had leftover (Thanks, Miranda!), and Oh my god I could taste it! Yeah, there was no denying it, things were happening in my mouth and it was more than just the breaking down of substance into a form my esophagus could swallow (eating loses a lot of the fun when you can’t taste).

Lunch was fun.

I had some leftover noodle and spicy sausage I had made the night before. When I had it last night I was fairly sure I could faintly smell the tomato sauce in it (I haven’t been able to smell anything since Wednesday), but I couldn’t really taste it when I ate it. I was aware that it was probably spicy, but there wasn’t really any flavor. Today when I had it for lunch, it was the most delicious thing I had eaten in 6 days. I had a coffee this afternoon, and you’d think there was a party going on in my mouth. I can only imagine what’s going to take place when I eat the Ben and Jerry’s in my freezer later tonight.

Quarantine Day 1

Today I tested positive for COVID-19. My symptoms are loss of taste and smell, and congestion. I also get chills sometimes. I’ve been vaccinated with the Pfizer vaccine.

The worst part has been the ripple effects. Miranda and Willow have both tested negative, so they can continue life as normal, but Leo has also tested positive. Leo is 2, Willow is 4. We have a basement where I could quarantine away, but, Willow and Leo would not be able to resist playing with one another if they were in the same house. So, then the options of Miranda and Willow staying somewhere else while Leo and I quarantine at home gets thrown out. The first choice is my mother in law’s house, but my father in law is also getting tested. He has body aches, and chills. So, that option may not be an option at all.

So, those are the logistics of trying to see where everyone’s lives will be for the next 10 days, but for me the thought of spending those 10 days alone, or with just myself and my son, it has made me break down crying twice. Sure, some might think staying at home for 10 days and doing whatever you want to entertain yourself sounds like a lot of fun. For me, it sounds like a nightmare. 1 night, okay. 2-3, rough but we’ll make it. But 10? We’ve already been going through a lot of stress with my new job and other changes that have happened in our lives, and the thought of suddenly being forced to be apart from each other, it just feels like too much.

That said, there’s not much of a choice in this. You just have to roll with it because there’s nothing else to do.

We’re currently trying to decide if we’re going to all quarantine together as logistically it may be too hard if Nancy’s house is out of play (if Doug is positive).

The good news is that work wise it will only be a week out, as we don’t have school today and my symptoms started yesterday (I thought it was just allergies at first). So, I guess we’ll see where things go from here. Just thankful that our symptoms are relatively mild.

I Survived Poverty

I’ve never written about my childhood. In a way, not doing so has colored all of my writing on this blog. And, in a way, with many of my posts, I’ve felt a since of faking it, as one sometimes feels when they’ve managed to move from one social caste to another. When you do that you feel like you’ve tricked everyone. You snuck in behind the curtains, to where the good food is and where everyone is always clean and speaks with the proper words. It’s the nice place you saw on TV, but didn’t get to go home to when you got out of school.

I grew up in situational poverty. That’s different than generational. I think that’s relevant, as it’s a very specific brand of poverty. And, in my mind, generational poverty may have more kinship. We were the black sheep of the family. Always poor, and always poor as a result of the decisions my parents made (mostly my father). We didn’t come from a long line of poor people who could learn from one another. We came from middle class people on my mom’s side (her father was a farmer) and working class on my dad’s (I’m not sure what my dad’s dad did, but I know his mother lived in a nicer apartment than anything we ever lived in). The only extended family we had was my aunt, who didn’t have much do to with us, and there was my grandfather, who is actually my mother’s ex-husband, but, if you ever ask, he’s my grandfather. That’s a long story, and one I’m not going to go into, but, in the strange world I knew, it all made sense…because it was so. You can’t argue with what is.

There were a lot of challenges growing up. One of the biggest was the moving. We never lived anywhere much longer than a year. The places I consider having grown up in we lived in maybe 3 years. Most places we lived for a year or less. There were many years we moved multiple times. Sometimes into places we rented, sometimes into other people’s homes. We lived in Pa’s (my grandfather) house, into my bi-polar half-brother’s house, and my uncle’s house in Las Vegas. At one point I would have been able to get a pretty accurate count of the moves I’d done in my childhood, but at this point, I simply don’t have a number that would be close to accurate. I think dozens would be close. And, for those of you who don’t know, moving is traumatic for kids. You say goodbye to all your friends. To your teachers. Everything you know. And then you start over somewhere new, only to have it happen again months later. And, that’s also not taking the quality of the places we lived into account.

Sometimes we had bedrooms. Sometimes we slept on the couch. Sometimes the floors were level, sometimes they had pieces of plywood covering holes to the ground. Sometimes the water worked, sometimes the septic tanks would overflow and push sewage up the sink or bathtubs when it rained. These were all things that happened, that I worried about from the age of 4-17.

That was a lot of stress. It was a lot of stress that I dealt with by having close relationships with friends. That was a problem I never had. I was always good at making friends wherever we went. I used to feel jealous of people I’d meet as an adult who had more typical parents. Because, even though I was good at making friends, I wasn’t always the best at navigating difficult social situations. I didn’t do well with people who might belittle you to make themselves feel better. And, I used to blame that lack of skill on my parents (and, honestly, I wasn’t wrong). Now a days I don’t focus so much on being angry or regretful, I’m more focused on acknowledging, understanding, and trying to grow into the best person that I can be. It took a long time to get there though. My teens were an angry time. I knew the wrongness of the situations we were in, but I was powerless to change it. My complaints or statements of observations to my parents led to my farther being angry, or my mother being sad. It never resulted in change, and only led to more stress. I spent a lot of my 20s being angry too. At some point that turned into embarrassment, and then maybe denial. Not denial in the sense that I didn’t allow myself to believe it happened, but more in the way that I stopped ever talking about it to anyone, and sort of erased it from my personal story.

I don’t necessarily like making people uncomfortable. I have very little good to say about my home life as a child or about my parents. They simply did the best they could, but, there’s not much else to say. I learned most of what I knew as a child from television and the countless movies we watched (movies were only 49𝇍 back then from the video store). I never knew people talked about their families and childhoods so longingly and fondly until I moved away to college, and met people from different backgrounds than me. And yeah, I have learned that there is no such thing as the perfect TV family. Even my friends with good parents, and childhoods that don’t involve dozens of moves, they have their share of drama. Sometime’s there’s divorce, re-marriages and other forms of trauma. But, I’m here to acknowledge mine, and get it off my chest.

So, yeah. All that happened. There was also a lot of yelling. Parents being stressed that there wasn’t money to pay the bills. Yelling about not being in love anymore. Yelling that Pa was the problem. That I was the problem. Racist explanations of complex problems. There was a lot of fear and worry. As I got older there were car problems. There were girl problems. There was I smell like burnt firewood and our house has no heater problems. And through all of this there was no guide. Nobody to give advice or tell me everything was going to be okay. The feeling that you were navigating this all alone, that was probably one of the hardest parts.

The Art of Having Fun: Past, Present, and Future

Great art comes from a place of fun. When the creation of a piece of art was driven by jealousy, or a sense of obligation, the results tend to feel phoned in. It’s hollow. The audience notices this. The artist definitely does too. I’m guilty of this. Many of my larger projects after my first couple works suffer from this (I’ve nearly enjoyed writing every short story I’ve ever done, so most of those don’t suffer this problem). I listened to bad internet marketing people turned book gurus (people trying to sell indie authors snake oil) and became obsessed (as I think we all do at some point) with sales and reviews, and platforms, and blah blah blah blah blah (I never really put too much heart into the email list, so I left that bad boy off my listicle there).

But, I’ve recently let myself enjoy the wonders of stories again. Whether it’s been in the form of books (Stephen King’s new novel LATER is pretty damn fun), TV shows (anyone seen season 2 of Love, Death, and Robots yet?) and movies (WRATH OF MAN was good, people. Go see it!). And, while letting myself enjoy the things I’ve always loved, letting myself be a human instead of a robot programed to classroom manage above all else, I’ve really wanted to put this love back to work. Because, you see, I’ve always been a story teller. Since I was a kid I made up my own, preferring to put pen to paper rather than pencil (I was a writing utensil snob). I’d write my friends and I into adventures in my Sliders spoof, Slippers. We slipped, instead of sliding, into alternate dimensions (you know, like that 1990’s television show). I wrote a story of the Wizard of Oz, but from the POV of the Scarecrow (it was a satire that involved a Space Balls reference when they meet the Man Behind The Curtain). My 5th grade teacher read that story to the whole class, and he couldn’t help laughing while he did it (one of my proudest moments).

When I turned into a teen, my story making love took to home movie making. Movies are where my love of story making came from. We were one of those VHS freak families. We had boxes, tubs, and bookcases full of the things. Our sections were organized by moi. We had a John Candy section, Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis, you name it. Of course there was a Spielberg section, and a separate spot for excellent series (Rocky, Back to the Future, Indiana Jones, etc.—and for those cinephiles wondering how I dealt with putting Rocky and Indy in the section with their actor and/or director or the excellent series section, the series trumped the actor and/or director on those ones).

At first there were no scripts. Just me, my brother (and later friends), and my camera. We filmed bonzo stuff until I was about 15 or 16 and then paused for awhile. When I went off to college I got a personal computer for the first time. A clunky eMachine that didn’t even have a wifi card until I upgraded it. Anyways, once I had that bad boy, scripts became the norm for all further home movie adventures, and eventually they got pretty good (this one’s my favorite). Well, by pretty good, I mean good for young kids hoping to get a laugh (I learned early on that with home movies, the easiest way to get buy in from your “crew” and audience was to make it funny…regardless of the genre).

And, then eventually that tailored off (right about the time my long time collaborator joined the Air Force), and I focused on making my way through college (everyone was doing it! Plus, I didn’t get the money for film skill, plus I didn’t want to leave my girlfriend to move off to Hollywood).

Regardless, eventually that old bug itched too much, and I started back up with the stories. I had this one that I had started seven years earlier, right after I graduated high school. It was about this bullied teenager who killed himself, and then went to hell, and then became the guy who gives people nightmares. That was the basics. I knew there was going to be a girl in there, some bad guys (probably), and that eventually he’d be some kind of dark superhero (like Darkman, or Spawn…only, like more of a good guy). I just needed to finish writing it. So, I spent a semester doing that. I had class one day a week, so I spent my mornings writing, went to school on Tuesdays, and worked at Walmart at night. After three months I had a finished book (you can buy it HERE. There’s also an audiobook narrated by a guy who’s acted alongside Bruce Campbell). I probably haven’t come up with a cooler premise (though, a lot of my short stories are pretty cool. Check them out HERE) or been as productive as I was back when it was all just for fun, and just to get the thing made, and made well.

Since then, I’ve written several sci-fi novels, a couple dark fantasy ones (that’s pretty much my wheel house) and a bunch of short stories here and there. I’m working on a novella in my Dick and Henry series that I’m really liking so far. Got a lot of where I want to go in my head, and I think it’ll be a doozy that I know that I will at least enjoy.

So, now back to the original point. Good art has to be something the artist enjoys making. Somewhere along the journey I lost sight of that and wrote to finish a word count, or to meet some deadline I made up for myself. Then, to make something that I could live with, I had to rewrite the things over and over again until I could at least point to sentences in the thing I liked. That said, I do take pride in all of my creations, and think for fans of genre stories, there’s something in all my stories some people will like, but I’m not going to worry about that, not anymore.

My goal this summer, as of now, is to write a lot. But, with the caveat that I’m going to write stories that I like, that are fun for me to create. Stories that interest me, that make me feel things. I’m not going to worry about creating things that the internet thinks I need to create. I’m going to create what I want to create, which I think will roll like a snowball, until I’ve created so much somebody out there just might like it. And then, maybe they’ll read it.

That’ll be something.

Why No One Is Buying Your Self-Published Book

So, like me, you’ve probably googled this question from time to time looking for what the secret sauce is to entice readers to hit “buy now” or to see what it is that’s stopping them.

Maybe you’ve read a bunch of blog posts of supposed indie authors saying you need to “build a platform” and really “hone” that email list. Then maybe they suggested you take their free course, or buy their “how to self-publish” book, or, of course, subscribe to their email list for the latest tricks.

It’s all obviously a scam to get you to buy whatever their products are. A lot of those supposed indie author helpers—or whatever they wanna call themselves—are really just taking advantage of people’s dreams, selling bad advice, and false promises.

So, I really wanted to make this post because I’ve found no good answer out there for why my personal books I publish aren’t selling like hot cakes. I know they’re written well, edited well, and some of them have premises that people apparently think are innovating (just see what this GUY SAID!). My point is, I work very hard to produce a quality product, and I’ve paid big money for good artwork (look at THIS cover and also THIS one) which is a lot of what people on Kboards might say you should focus on. They’ll also say you need to write faster and have more books out (which runs completely counter to the producing a quality product in my opinion, because if you’re focused on speed you’re going to lose out on quality).

My opinion is that the new gate keeper (the old gate keepers being the big five publishers), Amazon, picks favorites. I think they give the algorithm advantage to already established indie authors. Some of these supposed indie-author gurus (all scam artists in my opinion) will say they’ve cracked the Amazon algorithm code, but that’s bullshit. I started publishing in 2014, and back then Kindle Unlimited gave you a kickback (often greater than your sale price) if readers read 20% of the book. This then made you climb in the rankings, which increased your sales. More eyeballs, more sales. When they changed this, I basically disappeared on the face of Amazon. I’ve continued to publish books and short stories, but there’s been no runaway success (I’d just like to make some money off the hobby, I’m not even talking about anything supplemental at this point, even beer money would be nice). When I first published my first two books, I made enough money off the books to justify the artwork I’d bought. Every investment since then has not paid off.

So, really, maybe this post needs to turn more into honest advice from a guy who’s been doing this for six years (and, I’ve been pretty serious about it, only slowing my pace recently since my second child’s birth). So, here’s my advice:

1. Do it as cheaply as possible. Don’t listen to the gurus who say to pay big bucks for artwork. Pay as little as possible. Make it for free off Canva if you can. Read blogs about how to format your artwork if you want to do a paperback too.

2. Invest your money in software. You could ultimately do this for almost nothing, but I do recommend spending money on some decent software to make it a lot easier. I do like Scrivener, and if you’ve got the bucks, Vellum is nice too. I use Vellum now to make my ebook files and my paperback files. But, for the first five years I used Scrivener to do it all. There’s some really good videos out there on how to use Scrivener to do everything you’d need it to do. Vellum doesn’t take a video to figure out. It’s for the really lazy person who doesn’t want to waste time watching videos, and would rather just press “publish” sooner.

3. Spend your time writing and editing. Don’t bother marketing. Trust me. I’ve done free stuff. I’ve done paid marketing. None of it gives you a real or permanent boost. There’s never been a return on investment for me.

4. Make sure you’re REALLY editing. Get good at editing. Find a group of writers who will edit your stuff for free in exchange for you editing their work. That’s how I do it, and they do a better job of editing it then this guy I used to hire (and pay WAY too much money to). I’ve got a pretty lengthy process for how I edit now, as I want to catch all the typos and mistakes, as well as strengthen the text as much as possible before I publish.

5. Be okay with it being a hobby. You need to do this because you love it. Because you have a story eating away at you that you need to get out. You can’t do it because you want fame or fortune. There’s going to be nothing but heartache for you if you don’t go into this expecting nothing but the possibility that someone will read your work (and, someone will, but it could take awhile for that someone to show up…but it’s better than no one ever showing up).

So, that’s basically what I have to say on the whole book marketing and sales thing. But, I would like to reiterate that you need to really be okay with making little to no money off this. Because you will find a plethora of people around the internet selling cardboard advice on how to crack the code and sell more books, and it will always leave you disappointed and more frustrated than you already were. So, do yourself a favor and adjust your expectations. Those are within your control. The sales aren’t. That’s in Amazon’s hands. And if you’re random Joe off the street, they’re not going to do you any favors, and none of the secret sauce recipes the indie gurus want to sell you are going to change Amazon’s mind on how important your book is to their algorithms.

So, that’s it. Good luck. And also, make sure you’re enjoying yourself. Life’s short, man.

Grounding Fantasy

I realized the other day something that I’ve always felt, but maybe never put into words in my own head before. I need a story to be grounded in reality (in some way) for me to enjoy it. Before you exit out of this blog post, hear me out, and also keep in mind this is coming from a guy who’s first novel is about a dead kid who gives people nightmares. I don’t mean I need stories to be realistic fiction for me to enjoy them. My favorite genres are science fiction and dark fantasy, both of which blend the real with the make believe. In those stories life is usually boring (i.e, normal), and then something unexpected happens. But, I can also enjoy stories that take place in a world completely unlike our own, as long as the characters seem human (meaning, their struggles are the same as ours. Their feelings are like ours, and I can relate to their situations).

I was reading a graphic novel not too long ago called On A Sunbeam and I just couldn’t get into it. It’s supposed to be pretty solid, and it’s in my favorite genre (sci-fi), but I just couldn’t swallow it. It’s a coming of age tale (who doesn’t love this now and again?), but it just didn’t feel real to me. Maybe there was too much of a blend of fantasy in it, maybe the reals of the world seemed to random. It was hard to put a finger on the exact reason I didn’t connect to the story, other than this: it didn’t seem grounded in a reality I believed in. And maybe that’s the greater point. I don’t need a story to be grounded to our reality, but to a fixed reality. The rules of your world need to make sense, and they need to be constant. They don’t have to be spoken, but they need to remain unchanged throughout the story.

I think that’s just good practice for any story, regardless of genre.

Libraries Are Awesome

You should use your library. I’m a teacher and a parent (as well as a writer, for those of you here for that) so I use my library a lot for that. I pickup books my school library doesn’t have (a lot of cool graphic novels the kids are into, as well as picture books, and DVDs sometimes), and for my daughter we snag 15-20 new picture books a week. This girl is obsessed with books. The floors of our house have stacks here, stacks there. And that’s not even from us being bad at cleaning (I will say we are two working parents with two young kids who go to music class, gymnastics, etc.), it’s from my daughter being so excited she goes to her closet (there’s a pretty extensive collection in there) and grabs some of her favorites to read in this room or that room. We also have a constant flow of new reads coming in the mail, which she loves (originally this was how we got our books, but even getting them second hand from www.abebooks.com, our wallets just couldn’t keep up with the demand). So, as you can see, the library is a huge money saver for us.

Our library has a load of resources. It’s a little ridiculous how awesome the services they provide are. During the pandemic they’ve been drive through only, which has meant we’ve been able to teleport books from the entire Wichita library to whichever branch we’ve wanted. It’s been awesome. We’re talking about almost any title you can think of being available to us…for free! And they’ll send it to the library closest to your house (there’s so many in town there’s a convenient location for almost everyone). They also have some really cool search features to help you find great reads easy (want a Caldecott winner? Newberry? William Allen-White? There’s a button for that). They also have a cool Grab Bag feature (you tell them the kind of books you or your child are into and they pick up to five titles for you and you come pick ‘em up), as well as a book or movie recommendation feature based off a short survey you fill out. They also offer homework help for kids, as well events to come to (most of which are out in the courtyard or on Zoom right now, due to the pandemic).

And, I’m sure, this is not at all an extensive list of the services provided by our library here in the middle of America. So, you should totally take advantage of whatever awesome services your library provides. And, you should probably read more. I said it. Go read a book! I’ve been reading graphic novels lately (started off by accident, but is now turning into a choice, lol), so there’s no excuse that there’s not something out there that will be breezy enough or accessible enough for your tired and/or busy mind! Research shows reading’s good for adults as well as children. So, get going. Enjoy your library!